I am sure you all have heard, read, and even tried many of the “tips and tricks” in order to find “success” or to be more “successful”. I remember seeing this video going around Facebook that if you wanted to be successful start by MAKING YOUR BED.
Really? That’s it? Sweet!
Well that’s easy for you bed makers, BOOM, your successful but here is the problem… THIS picture is my bed. It’s my current situation and yes, every day. Soooo… does that make me “not successful”? Hmm.
This time of year, so many of us make New Year Resolutions. Whether its weight loss, more exercise, or for a lot of people it’s to become “more successful” in whatever they are doing. So, we read articles about what successful people do, or at least what they say they do and then try to implement that in our lives. I have read countless of those articles and give it my best shot every year.
So, for me Jan 1stgoes like this…
- As soon as I get out of bed… Make it!
- Do my morning Bible Study 5 days a week
- Write in my Thankful Journal every day
- Make a list of my daily goals
- Then another list of my monthly goals
- Oh wait, don’t forget my yearly goals
- Go to the gym more
- Organize my office
- Organize my house
- Organize… my life… or just organize something
- Focus on “Me” time
- Or how about just Focus on something
- Do more Networking because “successful” people Network
- Ugh, but I can’t stand “forced networking” but I HAVE TO. They ALL do it.
- Find a hobby (other than my kids and my job, good luck with that)
- Read more books
- Laugh more
- Help others laugh more
- Do something nice for someone every day
- Be more forgiving
- Cook more or at least try to enjoy it
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!! AHHHH! Its overwhelming.
Then, January 3rdI wake up to the sound of my 13 yr old dog pissing next to my bed! Yup, out of nowhere he just takes a squat. So, I jump out of the bed, grab a roll of paper towels and try to get it up as quick as possible. He’s a 42-pound dog so, needless to say it’s a nice size piss! Now, I am 15 min behind in my day and not happy so guess what, there goes the bed making but let me squeeze in my Thankful Journal. I start it with “I am thankful for my dog”! LOL, yes, I had to write it down that morning.
January 4th, I have an interview for a podcast I have been invited on and realize I haven’t done anything to prepare so guess what, there goes my Bible Study and Thankful List. Oh, and yesterday I didn’t make the bed soooo… today I am not either. I am in a hurry you know.
January 5th, well its Saturday so can I just wake up and have coffee with my hubby? Another pass on the “Lists” or the “more” for now, just a coffee break. I will do it after coffee. Oops I have some work to get done I didn’t finish this week so let me do that real quick and oh shoot…a friend’s daughters baby shower. Crap! I don’t have time for “the more” … I will start over tomorrow.
Jan 6th, Sunday… I love to have a sleep-in day but no, I am going to go to the gym because I said I would, then Church, then straight to my sons Basketball Game and finally home in the afternoon so I guess I better plan dinner, I did say I would cook more. Oh yea, that Thankful Journal, let me just say it over and over in my head what I am thankful for because I really am thankful, I just don’t have time to write it down. Tomorrow though… that’s it… tomorrow.
January 7th, Monday… Wake up to emails, orders, customer inquiries from the weekend, advertising meeting, accounting reports etc… so much to do so little time. So here I am… no bed making, no lists, no goals, no focus, no organizing and BAM… back to where I was Dec 31st! Just like that and I am mad at myself!
Who else has been there? It’s like my continual nightmare of doing things the way everyone says I should be doing it. I run a business so I should be organized, I should work nonstop but I should have balance, I should have focus on one thing at a time but I run a family too so what about them, I should take care of myself but also be a perfect mom, I should have goals and then goals and then more goals and I should write them down and for Gods sakes… I should make my bed! But I don’t do these things… not every day. Some days I am lucky to scrape by and I am just happy I am still breathing and healthy… other days I NAIL IT! It’s a crap shoot really but it’s my journey and I am the only one in my shoes… doing it.
So why do I have to be like everyone else? Why do I have to do it the way someone else does it? Why do you? Why do we read these articles and think we need to do what they do? NO!
TBH, I think I am successful now, without doing those things. I mean I think I am good and have done some pretty cool stuff in my life, but could I be more successful? Of course! Could I be Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx? Hmmm, I hear that a lot but actually… but…NO I CAN’T because I am not. I have TONS of room for improvement in all aspects of life… I strive for that and I try to be a better version of myself constantly but for who? Who is grading me on my “success” anyway? Like will I ever hit the mother load of success? The top of the success ladder? Or will the ladder just keep getting higher? Will it ever be good enough or successful enough? And what actually defines “success”? Is there a grading scale? A successometer? A successulater? I mean… what is success really and who is making the rules?
I really want to know!
As you know, 3 ½ years ago I started GloveStix, a new business venture but I had ZERO knowledge of the industry I was about to dive into. I knew NOTHING, no joke! I started over at 41, from scratch. I was like a sponge for knowledge, still am actually. I obsessed because well… that’s what I do. I asked everyone I knew for help, I reached out everywhere on social media, I called and called and called the most random people for advice and pretty much anyone who would listen. I took advice from everyone I knew. People LOVE to help, if you ask for it, and I accepted that help with so much gratitude. I couldn’t have done it without them.
But here’s the deal. No matter what advice I got, at the end of the day… I learned to do it MY WAY! I took a little from here, a little from there, and then made it my own. The many times I tried to follow in someone else’s footsteps, I failed, and the times when I actually listened to my intuition and did it the way I thought it should go, most of those times… I won. I can’t tell you how many times I second guessed myself, I still do, but in the beginning, it was way worse. I remember thinking OVER AND OVER “but I have no clue what I am doing so maybe they are right” despite what my intuition said. So, at times I trusted in someone else, instead of myself, and ultimately it never worked out the way they said it would, so I learned I had to learn from my mistakes quickly.
I have story after story I could share of when someone said, “Well, you can’t do it that way” or “You have to dress like this” or “Its doesn’t work like that” and of course one of my favorites that I got in the beginning which was, “Krista, you can’t say “OMG” on your Business Facebook status…you’re a Business!” Oops well, I am pretty sure after those words of wisdom I must have said OMG the next 30 status updates in a row because guess what… maybe they couldn’t… BUT I CAN!
OMG, OMG, OMG!!!
Success means different things to different people. It should. We are all different and are striving for different things in life, thank Goodness, but I learned that success for me, started with trusting myself. THAT’S IT! Trusting that I am good enough, I am smart enough, and that I am capable of MORE. Trusting that no matter the outcome, good OR bad, that I will handle it with strength and humility. Trusting in my Faith and that my gut instincts are pretty darn awesome and most likely because they don’t come solely from me. So, listen to them.
Man, it sure feels good to say that.
Yes many “successful” people have certain traits that bring on more opportunity. It’s generally not luck even though some of you may think it. I have been told I am “Lucky” probably 850 thousand times in my life and with almost every job I have had so I am glad I make it seem that way but lucky people also work hard, fight their fears, get out of their comfort zone, continue to push themselves, never give up, and have BIG DREAMS that are fueled by determination and are typically those you see in those “success” articles. However, their version of success and their dreams and their comfort zones and their vision of working hard and yours…most likely differ. You are not them and vice versa! They did not become “successful” by following in someone else’s path, they did it because they were free to think for themselves. They did what felt right… to them, whatever that is. Some make a list and follow that list every day and need to be organized and others make several lists and have like 5 different lists all around the house and then lose one list, and then find another one in the laundry room… but whatever! The point is, we are all different and although we are all capable of more… our more… and what we want… is ALL different. But trust me when I tell you… your more HAS to start by trusting yourself… and not comparing yourself to others… FIRST!
This year I am putting down the resolutions. For Good. No “New Year New Me” BS. I hate that and I always let myself down anyway. So, this year, again…it’s the same me… I will just try to do things a little better than what I did before. Baby steps. I am not Super Woman or Shera. I am just me… Nobody else’s rules, no what I “should do” and definitely no… making my bed!